A lot of women say they felt like a new person when they became a mom. And I share that sentiment. Having the responsibility for a tiny human who completely relies on you is quite a big deal. While you make not become a perfect human all of a sudden, you will definitely take that new responsibility seriously. When you become a mom you can’t just do whatever you want anymore. Each time you want to leave the house, you have to make sure someone will be watching your child. Being a mom means putting your little one’s needs first. Most moms do not only understand that but they take it to the extreme. Since “mom guilt” is a real thing, most moms think they have to dedicate every single second to their child(ren) and feel selfish when they do anything for themselves. This can in return lead to depression, anxiety, feeling unfulfilled, and a lot more. Ever heard the saying “You cannot pour from an empty cup?” It is so very true. In the beginning, when I had my son, I thought I would have to be the only one taking care of him and always be around him. I got comfortable with my reality of wearing the same PJs for days and sporting the dirty hair top knot indefinitely. But I learned to let go and find myself again. You can be a good mom without losing yourself. Here are a few tips on how:
Stay connected with the outside world
Being home alone with your child 24/7 even if it’s only for the first couple weeks/months can be very isolating. A lot of moms feel like they have to do it alone. But it is so important to have a support network. Even if it is just asking a friend a question about baby-related issues. Some people think that so many moms turn into mom bloggers or mom influencers to chase clout. But I know plenty of mom bloggers and can attest that what most of them love the most about being part of this scene are the network and human connection. During the first weeks when you cannot leave the house with a newborn, it is a lot easier to connect with other moms online.
Meet up with other adults
You might be an introvert and not interested in spending time with others. After all, what can be more fulfilling than yummy baby snuggles? Hear me out! I am the biggest introvert in the world and nothing sounds better to me than alone-time. When my son was born, I really did not want to see anyone and just catch up on sleep whenever I could. However, now that he is older, I do appreciate a mom’s night out from time to time. While I make sure that I still get enough me-time by going to the gym, working out, getting mani-pedis, etc, I truly believe parents need some child-free time every once in a while. It is so important to stay in touch with your friends and hear what they are up to. I made it a point to only surround myself with inspiring people. So each time, I hang out with friends, I feel refreshed, inspired, and learned so many new things. Even if you are super-duper anti-social, try to just have a grown-up night (or day) with adult conversations even if it is just once in a blue moon.
Have goals and follow your dreams
Most parents feel like their children give them purpose in life. And I concur! But it is also important to not lose yourself completely and still follow your own goals. Maybe you want to get in the best shape in your life? Go for it! Who says moms can’t look fabulous. Make sure you get in that healthy food and gym time! Maybe you’re pursuing a promotion at your job? Go get it! Or maybe it is your own business? You are never too old or too busy to follow your dreams! And it does not make you a selfish person when you do not dedicate every breathing second to your offspring. Remember: there will come a day when they will move out of the house to follow their own dreams and have their own family. And you do not want to look back at your life thinking you missed out on life.
This is me at a Mom’s Night Out event. Follow me on Instagram for more updates.